I swear I'll never believe in morality again.

I swear I'll never believe in morality again.

What on earth is morality? Nothing but a pile of shit created by humans to justify their own reasons. To meet their own ends.

I can tell you that "truth" is one thing, and it is up to you to believe it. And since I'm your boss, my truth is the TRUTH - nothing else matters. Not even what you consider is the truth.

I think that killing people is right. Since I'm your boss, what i say is right, it is right. If you do not kill people upon my orders, you will be sent to prison.

What conscience?

What humanity?

Is it not an irrelevant boundary?

I came the closest ever to being sent to the Detention Barracks today in my entire SAF life - for standing up for my subordinate.
I can't say anything on this blog, for obvious reasons. But suffice to say, my "conscience" is crystal clear.

oh... but again. Look above. Conscience doesn't matter!

Fuck.

Why on earth do I work so hard to be unappreciated, stepped upon, criticized, compared and insulted?
WHY??
I'm sick of being exploited because it is just my nature to put in my best.

I'm just a lowly measly bug crawling on the floor who earns TEN TIMES less then people who do TEN TIMES less work.

no. I'm utterly sick of it.

But it goes against my conscience. I have to erase and rewrite my conscience once and for all.

I should not be hardworking.
I should be a backstabber, like all those people earning TEN TIME more.
I should be a lazy slob.
I should report to work late and leave early.
I should complain at the slightest behest.

Can I do all this?

No.

Because unlike many "people", I'm a human.

I'm a human ruled by demons.

and I can't escape.






well... now that I've helped my subordinate, most of the ire will now be directed at me.
my life in SAF will be hell beyond hell from now...

.... why? WHY ME?

I DON'T WANT TO BE THE I/C.
I DON'T WANT TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH POLITICS!!!

I HATE IT SO MUCH!!! SO SO VERY MUCH!!! I HATE IT! I HATE IT I HATE IT!!!!!

why do i always op out of being in "committees" and "managements"? because of this!!

....

When my brother was explaining to me how it was pointless, I just felt so sad and helpless...

Is this what I must face in the world?
Is doing right means getting punished?
Is fighting for the rights of other people a slap in your own face?

If that is so...

I give up on this world.

I give up on everything in this world.

I hate it.

I hate this world.